She's the Man

In the midst of all this craziness surrounding Amanda Bynes and her blonde wig, I thought it might be nice to look back on the positives of her career. I really have no commentary on her emotional state or her Twitter wars, but I do have commentary on one of my favorite movies of all time...

She's the Man!

This movie came out in 2006 and has remained one of those movies I randomly watch, always suggest to people and frequently quote. A lot. I feel very shocked by how many people I talk to who haven't seen this movie. I could practically be a walking ad agent, promoting it at every turn. I care about it that much. Does someone want to hire me to do this? So go out and find it somewhere, somehow and watch it asap. I have two copies! I will mail them to you! Please return them in pristine condition! I have an immense and pretty serious DVD collection to take care of!

For those of you who have seen the movie and are fans, yay! I love you. Let's be friends and quote the movie together: "My favorite's gouda!" And for those of you who are not fans -- GET OUT OF HERE! Not really, I'm here to respectfully convince you to change your mind.

She's the Man is a loose adaption of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night. A sister pretends to be her brother, there are romantic entanglements, Shakespeare is quoted, the same names from the play are used and that's pretty much the extent of it. If you're looking for a CliffsNotes version of Twelfth Night, watch this and you'll be all set! Just kidding! Don't! I mean, yes, watch this movie and enjoy every morsel of it, but don't expect to ace a quiz on the Bard after. Just expect to feel really fulfilled.

Here are some super great things about the movie:

1. This was basically Channing Tatum's debutante ball, in the sense that She's the Man provided a forum in which Tatum could be presented to teenage girls in all his sexy manliness glory. He's shirtless quite a bit and that is something to be thankful for. Chan Man plays Duke Orsino, the cute guy on campus (what else?) who has a major crush on Olivia to start with, but falls for Violet (Amanda Bynes' character) in the end even though everything he knew about her he learned when she was a boy acting as her brother. DOES THIS MAKE SENSE TO EVERYONE? Because it really isn't that confusing. Clearly, it's the classic tale of dressing up like a boy to save your family and then falling in love with someone while you are pretending to be a member of the opposite sex. Happens all the time. Oh and Channing actually has some decent humorous timing in this role.

2. Amanda Bynes dressed up as a dude. I swear, she looks exactly like a guy I went to high school with....who shall remain nameless.

3. Amanda Bynes' facial expressions throughout the entirety of the movie. They're priceless. I could watch them in slow motion and never stop laughing. I wonder if it is possible for my face to do any of these things? I hope that I make faces like these at some point in my day. I think to myself as I make faces in the mirror. Do I really do this? You'll never know. Below are some of the greatest ones, in GIF form of course.

P.S. this was me when I saw a cockroach at yoga this morning.

4. More generally, the comedic presence of Amanda Bynes carries the movie. She IS the man. The movie would be nothing without her and it makes me sad to think that those days may be behind her. But with some support from a community of fans and hopefully, her family and friends she could move past whatever it is she is going through. Britney did!

On that note, I leave you with one of my favorite scenes from the movie.

So I want to be a writer

And here are two quotes from Lena Dunham that make me feel like that could actually be a possibility.

"I would go to work from 9 to 6, go home, nap for two hours, then write from 8 to 2 a.m." 

"I think if you feel like you were born to write, then you probably were."

LET'S DO THIS!

I miss you Buffy.

I'm having withdrawals. Serious withdrawals.

Currently, I'm watching the third episode of Dawson's Creek. I can't decide if this is a painful experience or sort of enjoyable? Mainly I'm watching this sex obsessed, beachy Cape Cod television show about lame teenagers with even lamer background music because the entire series is available FO FREE via OnDemand. But really, truly I'm watching this show as a terrible sad replacement for Buffy the Vampire Slayer. So sad. So terrible.

It's been about 5 months since the Buffy watching journey my mom and I embarked on has ended. And I wistfully think back on that journey often. Especially when I'm homesick or missing my mom, both happen more often than not. Watching every episode (over 100!) of Buffy the Vampire Slayer with my mom for hours on end was probably one of the best times in my life. For many reasons, involving: OMG I LOVE MY MOM! Mother-daughter time is so fun. Watching all that tv also meant that I got to sit on my ass for countless hours. All good things.

Most of all, watching all episodes of Buffy, Willow, Xander and the gang making culturally dated jokes and killing vampires while wearing lots of leather was simply amazing. This show is so good! I want to live in this show! I want to talk to everyone about this show! ...Hardly anyone will partake. Will you talk to me about Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

Joss Whedon made adolescence, high school, sex, comedy, life and drama entertaining and fantastical, but all the issues covered in the show were grounded in reality. Plus adding in the occult, vampires and other beastly goodies in the mix made for some exceptional television. Above all else, the audience had the absolutely thrilling opportunity to witness in chronological order all of the hairstyles of Sarah Michelle Gellar. That girl tried them all.

Oh dear Netflix how you helped us through the late nights pressing "next episode". Being able to skip commercials makes a timesaving difference that always meant more time for another one. Keep em coming Netflix! Satiate my needs for more stakes to the heart!

So having watched only three episodes of Dawson's Creek, I think I can definitively say that BUFFY RULES. DAWSON'S SUCKS! To be fair, the shows are completely different in the way that they depict teenager sagas. And I'll probably play episode four after this, because why not? The story lines are semi intriguing and I know eventually Pacey will grow into the sexy man that he is today and I get to watch that occur! Also, it's always a good time to make fun of Dawson with his flowing hair, Doc Martins, that necklace and his continually whiny attitude.

Buffy is a heroine. Although flawed in many ways, she is beyond cool. And don't even get me started on Willow. I want to be a witch because of her (and Harry Potter of course, and Hocus Pocus). Xander always provided a comforting backdrop. Giles was a great fatherly figure, until he wasn't. Dawn was annoying from day one. Angel took my breath away. Spike provided a badboy crush with some cockney laced humor. The rest of the characters, regular or drop ins, added a needed oomph to the show to keep things spicy.

Have I sold anyone yet? Will you watch the show now!?

PLEASE!

Let's Look Up To...

Queen Elizabeth I 

One of the longest reigning monarchs of the United Kingdom, Queen Elizabeth the first, was a kickass female. As a student of history and an anglophile, Good Queen Bess really floats my boat. She inherited the throne from her philandering father, Henry VIII, who chopped off the head of her mother, Anne Boleyn. Needless to say, Elizabeth’s succession to Queendom was tumultuous.  But once she ascended that golden throne, damn did she do some good things.

Although, never expressly said, Elizabeth did a lot to calm the religious unrest that was set aflame during her half sister, Queen Mary’s reign, by famously stating that she refused to “make windows into men’s souls”, meaning she didn’t want to know what your religious affiliation was. So basically, she was like do your own thang. Elizabeth secured the Church of England during her time, a move that is generally considered as one that saved England from many of the bloody religious wars that were occurring in other European countries during the 16th century. 

Also…she never got married! How amazing is this? Coming to the throne in 1558, in a time when women were basically considered nothing without a title they got from a man, it is phenomenal that Queen Elizabeth I never took a husband. Historical reports show she felt plenty of pressure to do so, but she was steadfast in remaining a single lady and showing her critics that she could rule the kingdom by her damn self, garnering her the nickname of the Virgin Queen. (Her chasteness or lack thereof is widely hypothesized on and debated, so the nickname mainly refers to her non-married status. Get it girl.) 

45 years of navigating her country and her people through military conflicts, political scandal AND fostering the arts, Queen Elizabeth I is an iconic historical character who I think deserves to be looked up to as a powerful feminine figure. Remember how beautifully Cate Blanchett portrayed her in the movie Elizabeth? I like to think that Queen E really was that elegant. I mean she was known to stock up on brilliant jewelry and decadent clothing to take with her on her royal progresses. And she totally put in vogue painting her face with thick layers of white makeup. Fashionista. 

So let’s give a shoutout to this fancy royalty and channel her essence when times get tough or we need a little pick-me-up in knowing that we can do it, jump over that obstacle or just plain be awesome. And without a husband to boot!