She's the Man

In the midst of all this craziness surrounding Amanda Bynes and her blonde wig, I thought it might be nice to look back on the positives of her career. I really have no commentary on her emotional state or her Twitter wars, but I do have commentary on one of my favorite movies of all time...

She's the Man!

This movie came out in 2006 and has remained one of those movies I randomly watch, always suggest to people and frequently quote. A lot. I feel very shocked by how many people I talk to who haven't seen this movie. I could practically be a walking ad agent, promoting it at every turn. I care about it that much. Does someone want to hire me to do this? So go out and find it somewhere, somehow and watch it asap. I have two copies! I will mail them to you! Please return them in pristine condition! I have an immense and pretty serious DVD collection to take care of!

For those of you who have seen the movie and are fans, yay! I love you. Let's be friends and quote the movie together: "My favorite's gouda!" And for those of you who are not fans -- GET OUT OF HERE! Not really, I'm here to respectfully convince you to change your mind.

She's the Man is a loose adaption of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night. A sister pretends to be her brother, there are romantic entanglements, Shakespeare is quoted, the same names from the play are used and that's pretty much the extent of it. If you're looking for a CliffsNotes version of Twelfth Night, watch this and you'll be all set! Just kidding! Don't! I mean, yes, watch this movie and enjoy every morsel of it, but don't expect to ace a quiz on the Bard after. Just expect to feel really fulfilled.

Here are some super great things about the movie:

1. This was basically Channing Tatum's debutante ball, in the sense that She's the Man provided a forum in which Tatum could be presented to teenage girls in all his sexy manliness glory. He's shirtless quite a bit and that is something to be thankful for. Chan Man plays Duke Orsino, the cute guy on campus (what else?) who has a major crush on Olivia to start with, but falls for Violet (Amanda Bynes' character) in the end even though everything he knew about her he learned when she was a boy acting as her brother. DOES THIS MAKE SENSE TO EVERYONE? Because it really isn't that confusing. Clearly, it's the classic tale of dressing up like a boy to save your family and then falling in love with someone while you are pretending to be a member of the opposite sex. Happens all the time. Oh and Channing actually has some decent humorous timing in this role.

2. Amanda Bynes dressed up as a dude. I swear, she looks exactly like a guy I went to high school with....who shall remain nameless.

3. Amanda Bynes' facial expressions throughout the entirety of the movie. They're priceless. I could watch them in slow motion and never stop laughing. I wonder if it is possible for my face to do any of these things? I hope that I make faces like these at some point in my day. I think to myself as I make faces in the mirror. Do I really do this? You'll never know. Below are some of the greatest ones, in GIF form of course.

P.S. this was me when I saw a cockroach at yoga this morning.

4. More generally, the comedic presence of Amanda Bynes carries the movie. She IS the man. The movie would be nothing without her and it makes me sad to think that those days may be behind her. But with some support from a community of fans and hopefully, her family and friends she could move past whatever it is she is going through. Britney did!

On that note, I leave you with one of my favorite scenes from the movie.

So I want to be a writer

And here are two quotes from Lena Dunham that make me feel like that could actually be a possibility.

"I would go to work from 9 to 6, go home, nap for two hours, then write from 8 to 2 a.m." 

"I think if you feel like you were born to write, then you probably were."

LET'S DO THIS!

I miss you Buffy.

I'm having withdrawals. Serious withdrawals.

Currently, I'm watching the third episode of Dawson's Creek. I can't decide if this is a painful experience or sort of enjoyable? Mainly I'm watching this sex obsessed, beachy Cape Cod television show about lame teenagers with even lamer background music because the entire series is available FO FREE via OnDemand. But really, truly I'm watching this show as a terrible sad replacement for Buffy the Vampire Slayer. So sad. So terrible.

It's been about 5 months since the Buffy watching journey my mom and I embarked on has ended. And I wistfully think back on that journey often. Especially when I'm homesick or missing my mom, both happen more often than not. Watching every episode (over 100!) of Buffy the Vampire Slayer with my mom for hours on end was probably one of the best times in my life. For many reasons, involving: OMG I LOVE MY MOM! Mother-daughter time is so fun. Watching all that tv also meant that I got to sit on my ass for countless hours. All good things.

Most of all, watching all episodes of Buffy, Willow, Xander and the gang making culturally dated jokes and killing vampires while wearing lots of leather was simply amazing. This show is so good! I want to live in this show! I want to talk to everyone about this show! ...Hardly anyone will partake. Will you talk to me about Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

Joss Whedon made adolescence, high school, sex, comedy, life and drama entertaining and fantastical, but all the issues covered in the show were grounded in reality. Plus adding in the occult, vampires and other beastly goodies in the mix made for some exceptional television. Above all else, the audience had the absolutely thrilling opportunity to witness in chronological order all of the hairstyles of Sarah Michelle Gellar. That girl tried them all.

Oh dear Netflix how you helped us through the late nights pressing "next episode". Being able to skip commercials makes a timesaving difference that always meant more time for another one. Keep em coming Netflix! Satiate my needs for more stakes to the heart!

So having watched only three episodes of Dawson's Creek, I think I can definitively say that BUFFY RULES. DAWSON'S SUCKS! To be fair, the shows are completely different in the way that they depict teenager sagas. And I'll probably play episode four after this, because why not? The story lines are semi intriguing and I know eventually Pacey will grow into the sexy man that he is today and I get to watch that occur! Also, it's always a good time to make fun of Dawson with his flowing hair, Doc Martins, that necklace and his continually whiny attitude.

Buffy is a heroine. Although flawed in many ways, she is beyond cool. And don't even get me started on Willow. I want to be a witch because of her (and Harry Potter of course, and Hocus Pocus). Xander always provided a comforting backdrop. Giles was a great fatherly figure, until he wasn't. Dawn was annoying from day one. Angel took my breath away. Spike provided a badboy crush with some cockney laced humor. The rest of the characters, regular or drop ins, added a needed oomph to the show to keep things spicy.

Have I sold anyone yet? Will you watch the show now!?

PLEASE!

Let's Look Up To...

Queen Elizabeth I 

One of the longest reigning monarchs of the United Kingdom, Queen Elizabeth the first, was a kickass female. As a student of history and an anglophile, Good Queen Bess really floats my boat. She inherited the throne from her philandering father, Henry VIII, who chopped off the head of her mother, Anne Boleyn. Needless to say, Elizabeth’s succession to Queendom was tumultuous.  But once she ascended that golden throne, damn did she do some good things.

Although, never expressly said, Elizabeth did a lot to calm the religious unrest that was set aflame during her half sister, Queen Mary’s reign, by famously stating that she refused to “make windows into men’s souls”, meaning she didn’t want to know what your religious affiliation was. So basically, she was like do your own thang. Elizabeth secured the Church of England during her time, a move that is generally considered as one that saved England from many of the bloody religious wars that were occurring in other European countries during the 16th century. 

Also…she never got married! How amazing is this? Coming to the throne in 1558, in a time when women were basically considered nothing without a title they got from a man, it is phenomenal that Queen Elizabeth I never took a husband. Historical reports show she felt plenty of pressure to do so, but she was steadfast in remaining a single lady and showing her critics that she could rule the kingdom by her damn self, garnering her the nickname of the Virgin Queen. (Her chasteness or lack thereof is widely hypothesized on and debated, so the nickname mainly refers to her non-married status. Get it girl.) 

45 years of navigating her country and her people through military conflicts, political scandal AND fostering the arts, Queen Elizabeth I is an iconic historical character who I think deserves to be looked up to as a powerful feminine figure. Remember how beautifully Cate Blanchett portrayed her in the movie Elizabeth? I like to think that Queen E really was that elegant. I mean she was known to stock up on brilliant jewelry and decadent clothing to take with her on her royal progresses. And she totally put in vogue painting her face with thick layers of white makeup. Fashionista. 

So let’s give a shoutout to this fancy royalty and channel her essence when times get tough or we need a little pick-me-up in knowing that we can do it, jump over that obstacle or just plain be awesome. And without a husband to boot!

Greetings from an old friend

I hope that is how you see Falling Bottoms, as an old friend who holds a special place in your heart. You feel warmth towards them. So much warmth and love that when they disappear for a few months with no note to explain their absence, no phone calls, no email or snail mail, or texts not even a damn telegraph you don't feel anger or disloyalty because you know they really do love you back and were probably super busy with some big life change or in the very least catching quite a few seriously fundamental to the story line reruns of Beverly Hills 90210 on SOAPnet.

While I have at times within the last few months been able to digest the the artful elegance of 90210 reruns (How many relationships can these people be in? How many times can Brandon propose to Kelly? How can David remain attractive even though he is an embarrassing rapper?), I have mostly been busy with  moving to Washington, D.C. to attend graduate school. I moved, I started school, I started a job, I bought a grocery stroller, I moved again and I walked to the monuments a lot. I've had a lot of things on my plate and Falling Bottoms fell by the wayside. Also, the thought of writing a blog as I was writing pages upon pages for school and my job left me with a slight aversion to writing as an extracurricular activity. Now that I had a semester to get settled, I've felt an itch to get back to blogging. My "new life" has given me so many experiences that I'd love to share. Most of them happy because D.C. is one of my favorite places ever.

Photo credit: Yours truly

 Although, I don't think it is realistic to commit to posting a few times a week I think I can manage a new blog post about every week. This semester is set to be just as busy as last with starting an internship at the British Embassy (more on that later!), keeping a part time job (get money, get paid), and going to class so I can fill my head with smarty nuggets of gold, but to me that just means lots and lots of material to share with you all.

I thought about changing the focus of the blog to I don't know what, which was not really a helpful brainstorming process. And so, I've decided to keep things pretty much the same around here with the understanding that my posts will probably revolve around the things going on in my life right now, these things will probably end up being very D.C. centric. Hopefully an exciting development for Falling Bottoms.

I would love if you trusted followers decide to stick with me because I think it will be a good time. I've watched a lot of good tv and eaten a lot of cupcakes since we've last met, which as we all know leads to quite impressive anecdotes about life, love and telling the future (my secret of being skilled in the field of Divination is finally out I guess).

*Also, I am working on a few kinks with the design of the site. I like the new layout, but want my original background and a less boring color scheme. Technology is being annoying in these matters, but I will keep trying.

Movie Marathons are the best kind of marathons

Movie marathons are one of the most under appreciated wonders of the world.

You can do so much with them! Pick a genre, pick an actor, pick a director, pick an era or put one together from scratch and you have a full days worth of cinematic escapism to tide you over.

I love the idea of marathons because it means you just let yourself sit on the couch, nibble on some nibbles and have a very productive excuse to be sedentary BUT NOT LAZY, movie marathons are NEVER LAZY.

Is it lazy to learn the nuances of comedy by having a Mike Meyers marathon? Is it lazy to experience all the facets of the world's greatest actress Meryl Streep? Is it lazy, my dear friends, to sit back and enjoy the glory that Peter Jackson presented to us with the evolution of Frodo and his little friends in the 15 million hours worth of the Lord of the Rings trilogy? The answer is a resolute no. Embrace the movie marathons, world and take in all they have to offer.

Below I list some movie marathon ideas. I did not include my obvious favorite movie marathon choice, Harry Potter because we all know about this one and hopefully utilize it annually. Neither did I include the movie marathon idea of Indiana Jones because, again, I hope everyone has this on their go-to marathon plans. I wanted to provide some innovative movie ideas. I like to consider myself a movie marathon chef who crafts together unique and delicious ingredients movies.


Movie Marathon Recipes:

1. Movies inspired by one of the most densely populated countries in the world and a place I dream of going, India. The sights, the smells, the history, the saris!

Some recommendations:
- Monsoon Wedding. Makes me cry every time.

-Slumdog Millionaire. Duh

-Bend it like Beckham. A little bit of a stretch, but this movie is so good. Let it slide.

As an added bonus, you can order a boatload of yumilicious Indian food to compliment the movies! Mmm Chickhen Tikka Masala

2. B Horror Movies. This is a personal favorite of mine. Probably the most visited form of movie marathons I partake in. My bff and I are B Horror Movie experts. If it's a crappy scary movie, we've seen it. I can't praise the entertainment and outrageous images/plot lines/ characters/ dialogue that watching shitty horror movies give the viewer enough. Full of unforgettable times. 


Some of my absolute favorites:
- Valentine (2001). This movie probably deserves a blog post all it's own because of how much pure love I have for it. I own it. I have watched it around 30 times, which seems kind of sick because people get murdered in gruesome ways. But that is overshadowed by stellar performances from Denise Richards and David Boreanaz...Yeah it's that kind of movie. 

-April Fool's Day (1986). People on an island get murdered. 

-Last House on the Left (1972). I just IMDB'd this movie to refresh my memory and noticed that it is directed by Wes Craven; it was the first movie he directed. Ok, so this movie is actually pretty disturbing, but it makes my recommendation list because of one pivotal scene where a young girl turns the table on her evil crazy male attacker and BITES HIM WHERE IT HURTS. Yeah, the thing you think would never happen in a movie does.

 
3. Romancing the Stone/ Jewel of the Nile. Not sure if these two movies constitute a movie marathon theme, but hey we're making up the rules here so I say it does. If you're in the mood for some adventure and world travel then try out these splendid 1980's movies. Featuring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner and taking place in exotic regions such as Columbia and the Middle East, these movies follow author Joan Wilder (Turner) and her adventurous semi criminal lover Jack Colton (Douglas) getting into danger and intrigue. Danny DeVito also makes a notable appearance in the films.

4. J. Lo. This may seem like an odd choice for an actor themed movie marathon, but creativity is key. Besides it is my belief that Jenny From the Block is a better actress than singer. And alright, maybe I am little biased by the fact that I think Enough is like the most magnificent Lifetime-esque movie ever produced. 

 


Jennifer Lopez in her prime:
- ENOUGH. Short haircut? Yes. Boxing? Yes. Kicking your asshole abusive husband's ass? Yes. A funny best friend (Juliette Lewis)? Yes. A main character named Slim? Yes. How could something get any better?

- The Wedding Planner. Another one of my favorite movies. Jennifer is funny in this movie and Matthew McConaughey is at his best acting as a laid back, interested hottie. Plus, I always notice that the wardrobe Jennifer Lopez has in this movie doesn't seem ever to be dated.

- The Cell. Has anyone seen this movie? It was SO creepy. I hardly remember it. I  just remember women floating in cases they were trapped in by some creep McCreepster crazy dude... in his mind. This movie gets scientific and supernatural and freaking weird. 

5. Creature Features. You can do a lot with this genre. There are so many options out there. Of course I have some personal favorites to share, not including Jaws because everyone is aware of this classic (Jaws 3 is the best. Represent!).

-Deep Blue Sea. Another significant part of my movie collection. Deep Blue Sea is the timeless story of genetically engineered sharks who get a little too intelligent and ornery for their scientist captors and end up going ballistic and wreak havoc on a water based research lab. The sharks don't want to be tested on to cure Alzheimers, they just want to eat people. The most wonderful part in this movie that rivals any other insanely surprising scenes in other movies, is when Samuel L. Jackson literally gets bitten in half out of NOWHERE by one of those doggone fishes. Also LL Cool J, oops I mean Ladies Love Cool James, is in it. 

-Anaconda. What we have here is a little bit of a crossover. I considered including this movie under J. Lo's category but decided it needed to reside in Creature Features. I was introduced to this movie around age 10 and instantly became attached. As a 10 year old Anaconda held the secrets of adulthood. There was Jennifer Lopez's voluptuous body, there was traveling down the Amazon River, there was a psycho old dude (Jon Voight), there was Owen Wilson and some chick having sex in the forest. Basically, the plot follows a National Geographic crew floating down the Amazon doing their own professional thing when they run into Mr. Crazy (Voight) who lures them into chasing a ginormous man-eating anaconda snake. Also, Ice Cube is in it. 

-Lake Placid. Another large, man eating, vengeful creature. This time in the form of a crocodile. Oliver Platt is as always witty and snarky in his role. Also, Betty White is in it. 

Special effects aren't the best in any of these creature features, luckily that's not the point. The point is letting your mind wander to the "what ifs" of the existence of large and in charge creatures. And if you are anything like me, you probably will be scared to take a bath for a little while after watching these. 



Use these movie marathon suggestions as starting off points for your own innovative and fun movie choices. Just have fun with it, but take the wonder and power of movie marathons to heart. And always know that when you're movie marathoning you are doing something right in the world.

Union Jack and Helen Mirren

This will be the look I channel for my upcoming LONDON OLYMPICS 2012 PARTY!