Doing things solo, like Hans

You want to see a movie, but have no one to go with. What do you do? Go alone!

Alone as a word sounds so scary and lonely. Change your perspective and it becomes wildly freeing. Because being alone and doing activities that you enjoy solo is not only fun, it can be a learning experience. This learning experience doesn't have to come about from a trip you took to Southeast Asia "to find yourself" it can be from that time you smuggled in a salad to the theatre after yoga to see This is the End. By hanging out with you, yourself and I, you get to experience how awesome you are and how much you enjoy your own company! Sometimes we all need a little reminder of what makes us who we are in this big world and sometimes we also need to touch base with who we are in this moment in time. And yet other times all of our friends are busy or being annoying and so you are left with no other options than to get breakfast by your damn self, a rather wonderful experience because you don't have to split your pancakes WITH ANYONE, NO ONE ELSE GETS THEM! 

You don't have to think about doing things with a party of one in the deep theme of learning about who you are blah blah, if you don't want. That's really only part of the equation. I think the larger more exciting reason to bite the bullet and adventure with only you as your companion is because 1. it is a blast 2. you are an exceptional human being and 3. no one is holding you back from doing what you want to do!

I've always enjoyed solitude, but haven't always been confident enough to go out and do activities that you generally associate with the need for a companion.

It all started when I studied abroad in London. I had so many things I wanted to see and do and moments I wanted to enjoy and reflect upon that a lot of time I found it easier to do this stuff on my own. Although, my alone time may have originated out of necessity, it quickly became an important development in my life.

Things really changed when I moved away to grad school. Again I was placed in a new situation with a big ass to-do list of sites, sounds and smells I wanted to revel in and revel I did. Instead of being intimidated by doing things alone in a new city I was unfamiliar with, I found it more comfortable to explore Hans Solo because it felt wild and independent and grown up. And these thoughts drove my experiences. The more I do things alone, the more comfortable I am with the feeling and the more I let myself truly embrace my friendship with me! It's cool dudes, very cool. I would say come join me sometime, but that is really opposite to what I am advocating here. Go be by yourself and we can be by ourselves together!

Doing movies, museums, coffee shops, bookstores, etc. on my own feels like a breeze now. It took me a while to get there, for sure, but now that I've made it, I want to push my limits even more. Over the last few months I traveled to Europe alone (!) and went to a baseball game with JUST ME. Both of these feats felt like I had conquered the world. In those moments, I was like the original gangsta. I AM the original gangsta and you can be too!

Does it not hurt that I am single with no loving male companion to accompany me on trips that would fit quite nicely with a boyfriend? The answer is YES, but I don't like to think of a life that means having a boyfriend is synonymous with having no alone time, because that is terrifying. I am embrace my singledom! She says meekly standing in a corner alone at a party slurping down glasses of wine. No really, I do, for the most part. However, when I do enter into a super great relationship, it shall be known from the getgo that Hans Solo time is a part of who I am and needs to stay around. And I will encourage my Charlie Hunnam look - a - like boyfriend to partake in his own alone time activities as well. We will both benefit from it. And then we will get married and have a fabulous life, so there everyone!

Maybe all this alone nonsense is old news to you. Maybe you dine solo five nights a week.

But for those of you who think this all sounds disgustingly unappetizing, those of you who call everyone in your phone book to see the new Fast and Furious movie with you (Is it like the 17th one or something? Not, just kidding and trying to look cool. I know definitively there have only been 6 and each one has their own merits), give yourself a run for your money! Being alone can be delicious.

Seriously, just do it. You'll understand how independent you can be and how much you like your own company...I hope. If not, call your bestie STAT!

Big city loving

Adjusting to living in a big city can be interesting and a bit of a culture shock. I've had a few longer term experiences with urban city life, but nothing real until I moved to Washington, DC about a year ago. Since move in day I've noticed some big themes.

1. Finding your keys
You're always carrying 3 bags at once and have to dig mercilessly through mounds of your belongings just to find your freaking keys. They are so coy and hide from you. You have to search for them like you do for the Dorito with the most seasoning. Oh and also, usually you have to pee so you're squirming around outside of your apartment door, clawing for your keys, deep breathing, telling yourself NO I WILL NOT PEE MY PANTS and really hoping that what you're telling yourself is true. You find your keys, you open the door, you drop all your shit and run to the bathroom. And you promise yourself that from here on out you will put your keys in that perfect little side pocket in your purse so they are always easily accessible. But, it all happens again the next day.

2. Dirty, dirty
So, big cities are generally pretty dirty which is a shame, especially in the summer because it gets REALLY smelly (not so much in DC, but NYC stanks). And with the filth brings the rats and the trash and the smells and the bugs and just the all around nastiness. Pretty gross, but this dirtiness aspect is one of the easiest things to get used to, probably because I hold on tightly to my naivety that those little creatures rustling in the bushes and scampering across the alleyway are simply night loving squirrels! Not rats, you guys, never rats. Unless you're a germaphobe just don't think about all the grime and you'll be alright.

3. Walking everywhere
This is my favorite change of all time. I don't think I'll ever be able to go back. I only sometimes want to complain about this, like when it is 98 degrees out with 100% humidity or when I want to redeem my groupon for $30 worth of pies, but have to use it all at one time and don't know if I can handle that many pies without a vehicle. Other than that, I am super happy! Walking gives you time to think about your life, to listen to great music, to catch up on audiobooks or podcasts and to potentially run into your Prince Charming. Points for the fact that it burns calories and keeps you moving too!

4. People. PEOPLE ALL THE TIME.
I generally like people. But not when they are everywhere I turn, breathing loudly, grazing into me, WALKING SLOWLY. My anger towards these public offenders has been sort of muted because I live in the nation's capital, meaning there are always tourists and various visitors. I've had to learn to deal with people all the time everywhere always. It's taken some serious meditation and deep breathing on my part. Maybe if slow walkers did some deep breathing of their own and changed their ways the world would be a better place? 

5. Public transit...more people
This goes along with the walking and the people. I don't love public transportation, even though the DC metro is pretty great. We all have our horror stories, but at the end of the day the massive and intricate public transportation systems that big cities have are pretty impressive and I am grateful for them. Respect. 

6. Lack of personal green space
This one bums me out a lot, a lot because I've been spoiled with such a beautiful garden my mom maintains at home! Flowers and grass and bushes and herbs and trees are happy things. Gardens are special places and some of my favorite spots of serenity in the world (Hello, Kensington Gardens!). Hell, I'd take a measly green bush on my concrete rooftop. DC is full of squares that are kind of like parks and if one plans correctly, one can claim a corner all one's own, ignoring all the PEOPLE moseying around. (Can I get a high five for my commitment to sticking with using "one"?)  

While some of these adjustments have taken time, I'm a fan of big city living and wouldn't change it for the world. So many options, so much excitement, so much fun! 

A love letter to comedy

Ah ye comedy, you make me laugh and only ever make me cry from laughing so hard. You make my heart sing and my head hurt from loud mouthed giggles. You are ever present, because the beauty is that you can be used (not used in a "I'm using you for your access to movie theatre popcorn because you work at AMC" kind of way, more like utilized and respected) in any situation.

Comedy, I love you. Like for real, I really love you. 

Through good times and bad you've stuck with me. From All That to Wayne's World to SNL to Superbad to Bridesmaids. I can highlight monumental moments in my life with your presence. Like chocolate, you are always there to make me smile. My most supportive friend. Thanks!

Why do I like you so much you ask? Because you bring lightness to life:

Fall down the stairs in a dress while wearing a thong flashing the Prince of England (Prince Harry, because William isn't as cute and he's very off the market)? Laugh it off.

Realize you've been talking to your crush with spinach in your teeth and oppressive garlic breath? Let's just laugh about that one.

Accidentally hit reply all on that super hilarious gif about loving wine to every single staff member at work? Hahaha is the best remedy.

Catch your reflection while doing a random belly dancing cardio workout you found on your tv on a Saturday night and realize you have literally NO rhythm? That's funny, right?

While these aren't life threatening issues, you comedy, keep me present in perspective. You save me from the doldrums, because when I remove myself from the utter terror of the situation I realize life is pretty damn funny. 

But the cool thing about you is you're also there to make the good times brighter! Channeling Tina Fey, quoting Parks and Rec and laughing at stupid informercials (Have you seen the one about the weird ice pillow? I'm equal parts curious and creeped out), you make the days so much more fun.

I can't live without you! Never leave me! Everyday you are in my life is a good day. Let's keep laughing together, comedy, you crazy thing. I promise to stay starry eyed for you, if you promise to keep the good times coming.