Hear me out. Nicholas Sparks and his wonderfully crafted, heartwrenchingly entertaining, romantic stories have warped my view of realistic love. I expect EVERY man to be so devoted to me from the moment they see me they go crazy at a carnival and hang in midair in their underwear on a Ferris wheel like Noah does for Allie in The Notebook.
After watching Nicholas Sparks movies every girl realizes how much normal guys suck.
I haven't read any Nicholas Sparks books, which is a cop out on my judgement of Nick, but like do I need to submit myself to that? Books have so much more detail and I know that reading The Notebook or Dear John would be agonizing as the heartbreak slowly unfolds. Plus, I hear that all his books are even SADDER THAN THE MOVIES. Can this be possible I ask myself soaked in tears!
Alright, it's obvious that I don't in fact hate Nicholas Sparks, I LOVE/HATE HIM. I want to watch these movies and cry and I want to have this kind of love in my life. Similar to the effect that Disney princess movies have on females, Sparks' work has ruined my life. Not really, but sort of close. Ok again, not really BUT what Nicholas Sparks movies like The Last Song have done is implant a version of a love story life that is largely unattainable.
Maybe I am a romance pessimist and if I am I BLAME IT ALL ON NICHOLAS SPARKS.
Turns out Mr. Sparks is just a normal author dude with an abnormal affinity to write stories that pull at the heartstrings. Is Nicholas Sparks the most romantic man on Earth? I freaking hope so, then everything would be ok and make sense.
My personal favorite Sparks' films are The Notebook, Dear John and The Last Song.
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| The Notebook. I couldn't resist putting this one in because does this really happen? |
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| Dear John |
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| The Last Song |
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| Muhahaha also this one. |
I may have been experiencing a dramatic point in my life when I watched Dear John, but holy my god I was convulsing with sobs when I saw it. Ask yourself, could John be any better as a complex tough guy who just wants to be loved and give love? And then that whole bit with his dad! A river of tears I tell you. My roommate at the time probably thought something was physically wrong with me.
It was during this viewing that I realized I enjoy crying to the point of no return. It's just kind of fun to release any and all feelings through the tears Nicholas Sparks forces out of me.
This is what Nicholas Sparks 'the evil genius' has done to me:
1. Makes me think that the guy should always be that much more devoted and into it than the girl in a relationship. Look at the male characters in my three fav Nick films: Noah, John and Will are extremely devoted to Allie, Savannah and Ronnie so much so they refuse to give up on them. The girls flounce around, in pain yes, but are prepared to move on from their loves!
2. You can be a total bitch to your guy all the time and he will come back. My evidence for this, Miley Cyrus/ Ronnie in The Last Song. I mean she is literally annoying every instant of that movie. Why does Liam Hemsworth/Will take all her shit? But I love this movie and am so happy at the end when they kiss on the beach and both decide to continue their education in college. Woo, go learning! Also, nothing against Miley- I LOVE 'PARTY IN THE USA.'
3. Then there's that one notion I have that fighting with your significant other can be outlandish and dramatic and you can make a scene and just go NUTS. Because you guys, this just shows all the love and passion between the guy and gal! At least according to damn Nicholas Sparks. This is potentially the most dangerous idea I have soaked into my brain waves because who wants a psycho screaming and maybe going in for a slap fighting over a scoop of ice cream or something.
So obviously Nicholas Sparks' films have made me delusional.
Or maybe Nick is showing me the beauty that love can bring, also with the tears and the pain that comes when your heart is ripped out of your chest. Examples of this include when Noah and Allie breakup, when Ronnie finds out that Will knew all along that Ronnie's dad didn't burn down the church, when Savannah can't deal with being apart from John any longer and gets with that kid's dad! But it all turns out sort of ok in the end. With love comes sadness and strife, but you can prevail, so says Nicholas!
Alas, after all my smack talk I have decided on a compromise. I will continue to"hate" Nicholas Sparks and his love tales while at the same time I will understand that his stories are showing the possibilities that a great love can bring.
Mentally I have to tell myself this as I prepare to see The Lucky One (coming out soon) starring ZAC EFRON and some other girl. Again Nicholas Sparks will make me cry the kind of cry that people feel uncomfortable around (sorry everyone at the theatre!) and I will love hate him while I do it. Hurrah!
And who knows maybe I'll find myself singing a different tune when I find my Noah, John or Will. BUT THEREIN LIES THE PROBLEM, NICHOLAS SPARKS TELLS ME THERE IS A NOAH, JOHN OR WILL OUT THERE FOR ME. Ugh, life and its complexities.
To those of you with awesome boyfriends/husbands/girlfriends/wives or a Noah, John or Will, I am sincerely happy for you... in the sort of way that people are happy for people when they are jealous of them.
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