Slap 'em and eat cupcakes

Slap 'em and eat cupcakes. My new motto.

I want shirts decaled with this slogan. I want people to scream it in the streets. I want Tina Fey to say it on 30 Rock or Zooey Deschanel to say it on New Girl.

I want to use it in a comforting, understanding manner like in response to a friend complaining to me about some woman who stole their parking spot at yoga "Ugh slap 'em and eat cupcakes." Or screaming it out of aggression when my Redbox dvd of Blue Valentine is so scratched that I basically have to just listen to the second half of the movie because the image quality is so poor (that was a weird experience, such a disappointing ending to that movie and Ryan Gosling balding is not so good). "SLAP 'EM AND EAT CUPCAKES!!!!" Or as an exciting terminology signaling the weekend "Slap 'em and eat cupcakes baby."

Slap 'em and eat cupcakes was born when I was texting my mom about how I was so frustrated I wanted to slap someone, then after I calmed down I texted her: I want cupcakes. Naturally we combined those two sentiments and came up with the most powerful catchphrase known to man! I am not an advocate of violence but someday I hope I get the chance to slap someone who really deserves it. I imagine this would be one of the most rewarding experiences right after seeing Michael Buble in concert (why can't I find how to do an accent aigu over the E in his last name??) and childbirth.

Also, I live for cupcakes so that's how that came into the mix.

Speaking of cupcakes, if you're looking for something fun to do why don't you sneak four cupcakes into a movie? That's what I did this past week and it was glorious. My mom and I (Am I always hanging out with my mom you ask? Yes I am) went to our favorite local bakery Bloom Bake Shop. Super cute, super yummy because they sell cupcakes, duh and also inventive things like "Brookies" a brownie cookie. I am DYING TO GET MY HANDS ON ONE OF THOSE. They also have vegan and gluten free nom noms.

I love this place because they had this.

After oogling at all the cupcake flavors we pranced out of there with half a dozen: vanilla bean, *chocolate peppermint, *decadent chocolate, *birthday cake, chocolate ganache (with cream cheese frosting) and *blueberry citrus.

Embarrassing that the only picture left was of the box. The cupcakes were gone.

The starred ones are the four we indulged in at the movie, which was The Woman in Black with Danny Dan Radcliffe i.e. Harry Potter. We stuffed the cupcakes in my purse and confidently strode into the theatre knowing technically we were breaking the rules. This was fun because breaking small rules gives me a sense of badassness. I feel like I am Drew Barrymore wild child or in The First Wives Club doing little mischievous things working to get back at my ass of a husband! Muha you don't own me.

THEY ARE STILL FRIENDS!

We ate the cupcakes before any of the scary things happened so we wouldn't choke (this means we ate them the second we sat down). Although, biting the dust choking on a cupcake at a movie having the time of my life wouldn't be the worst way to go.

And after the last crumb was demolished I know we both thought...

"Slap 'em and eat cupcakes."