Mustaches

Oh the fine art of the mustache, or as I like to refer to them as, "staches." I was getting my hair done the other day and was talking to my exceptional hair stylist about mustaches. We began by harping on them hardcore as it isn't the 70's anymore, which equates to mustaches being a sign of creepiness. Like white vans without windows creepy.

Amy, my hair stylist, made the completely mature and kind point that if it looks good, great have a mustache. Whereas, I am more of the evil hyperbole thrower ilk, saying things like "Mustaches are never a good thing, no one should ever have a mustache. I hate them always." Throughout our conversation, Amy and I realized that we don't think we have ever seen a good looking mustache.

I am here to debunk our quickly created "no good mustache theory", Amy would be proud (!), by providing a list of men who rocked a good mustache. All of these men are celebrities. Honestly, after the mustache convo, all I can notice are staches... and most of them blow.

Not these guys though:

1. Omar Sharif in Funny Girl. All cards out on the table, Funny Girl is ultimately one of my favorite movies. I know it will stand the test of time. This one will never be a passing fad in my movie love filled life. Omar wins first place for this prestigious, homemade, best staches award because he is handsome, exotic, interesting, timeless, beautiful and has a killer stache! From Nicky Arnstein to Dr. Zhivago, Omar is the man through and through.

2. Matthew McConuaghey in Dazed and Confused as David Wooderson (his cameo in this movie was pure awesomeness). He played a creep and the stache totally highlighted it. But Dazed and Confused is a classic and set in the 70's when staches were the thing! I give him a big thumbs up for this one; you can barely see it!

3. Tom Selleck at any age, any way with that stache of his (shout out to my mom, she loves this guy). He actually pulls off the mustache and it's thick which I think is an important element for any stache to have a chance. I feel comfortable with this stache.

4. Jason Sudeikis. Although I'm glad to report that his stache seems to have been a phase, he maintained a nice one. Yeah it added a slimy facet to each character he played, but it worked because it was kind of cute and funny. And I just really like Jason Sudeikis so his stache gets recognition on this one. We need someone to show us that a mustache can work in the 21st century!

5. John Waters. You don't know who he is? I don't expect you to. No one really does, except those who have a love of camp, the original Hairspray or who have taken a communication class on him in college, like moi. Once you see this mustache you will recognize him and then decide to hate me because it is probably the most horrendous stache OF ALL TIME. Is it even a stache? No it is painted on! I will defend John Waters and his mustachness in short, because I studied him for a whole semester and got to hear him speak live. He's entertaining and I liked his character. Warning though, never see any of his movies made before Polyester unless you have a stomach made of steel.

 Yeah, that guy. 

6. Tom Berenger in The Big Chill. This movie was so good. I loved it. I've only seen it 1 and a half times, but may need to make it part of my collection. The man looks phenomenal with this stache. He pulls it off so well. I want one, if only to garner half the sex appeal he got from his mustache.

This cast picture was the best one I could find that really only gives Tom and his mustache a fraction of the hotness credit they deserve. You can totally tell from this photo though that he and his stache are too cool for school.


In conclusion, through my stache research, I now have faith that there are others out there that have the stamina, personal confidence and unique sensibility to showcase a mustache that does not make me want to run away. And I take my hat of to you, staches.